I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want for our family. Like most mothers I feel pressure to do all the things. Crafts, sports, hobbies, lessons, trips, events,… the list goes on. I know my children would love to participate in so many things but is it truly what they need. The thought of chauffeuring my kids around to activities all day stresses me out and when I’m stressed out I’m not a great mama.
When we pulled Jude out of school last year it was a very eye opening experience. It made me more aware of what is truly important and best for our family. We were bullied into treating our child differently than we felt led all the while we thought we were doing what was best. I look back and wish I would have been stronger and would have stood up more for my child but I was in a weak place at the time. I was pregnant, suffering from prenatal depression, mothering a 2 year old and 3 year old, dealing with a death in the family and major financial stress all while trying to navigate an absurd situation with the school. We were deeply hurt by people we had entrusted with the education and care of our child (a very young 6 year old boy). Looking back I see the scars that were left on my mama heart and I am deeply saddened. We took great care in selecting a school that would be a safe place for our son only to turn around and be blindsided, in the name of Christ, with an attack on our son, our parenting, our family. All this led me to the realization that no one has my child’s best interest at heart except me(and my husband).
I never wanted to be a homeschool mom but I know beyond all doubt that this is the best choice for our family. It’s not easy and I have to remind myself everyday of why I’m here.
We aren’t going to be that family running around town from soccer practice to piano lessons. It’s not what’s best for me or my kids. My boys’ needs are pretty simple. They need quality time… with me, with Joe, with each other, with nature, with God, with nothing to do and no where to go. Opportunity to be still and just be. I want to teach my boys (and myself) to appreciate the quiet. To stop and listen to God. To slow down and live life with others. No going. No doing. Just being.
I want to be intentional about living a life that is peaceful and joyful. Slowing down and enjoying each day because these moment with my kids are fleeting. At the end of life no one will remember the activities, events or things we acquired they will remember the time we spent together. It’s time to slow down and really focus on what truly matters… each other.