I don’t handle stress very well.
I try to put on a brave face and act strong but in the thick of the storm I often lose it and let all the crazy out. This happened at 4am last night.
There is a lot going on in our lives right now, some of it you know about (the big move) and some of it you don’t… yet. With all of the building stress in my life I was not prepared for everyone to get sick this week. I wasn’t prepared for everyone waking up needed something at 4am (Not that anyone is really prepared for a 4am wake-up call by a screaming 3 year old) and well, I lost it. Thankfully, I have a very loving and gracious husband, who even though he wasn’t feeling well stepped up to help Jude get back to sleep. He then immediately emailed his boss to inform him that he wouldn’t be coming into work today.
After my meltdown I tried to go back to sleep but my brain just wouldn’t let me. So I laid in bed. Awake. Getting angrier and angrier. Finally around 8 am I fell asleep just in time for Jude to wake up.
Joe got up with Jude, even though he was sick, so I could rest a little more.
God gave me a good man!
I trudged throughout the day trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, when I stepped out to run a few errands by myself it dawned on me. I don’t have a reliable alone time. Not just alone to do what I want but alone time to spend with God.
I desperately need to find my alone time. I can’t continue to carry the stresses of my life on my own, it’s too much and results in 4 am meltdowns. I make time for the things that are important; family, meals, work, working out… but where is my time to spend with God?
As a mom, some days my job starts a 4am and doesn’t end until midnight with everyone needing something from me. It’s so easy to overlook the small opportunities to be alone. I’m sure there are a few minutes here and there that I can slip in throughout the day I just need to be more intentional about finding those treasured minutes and snatching them up. I know I won’t regret spending a little time alone with God each day.
Do you find time to be alone each day?