You think you have it rough? My life is worse than yours.
“You think you have it rough? My life is worse than yours.“
Essentially, that’s what comes out of the mouths of some mothers as I vent about the struggles of motherhood.
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| Jude and his cousin Lily dancing in front of the fan. |
Jude is the the quintessential “spirited” child. He’s always been very active and sometimes hard to keep up with. We say he has two speeds: Full-Speed and Asleep. Year two has been rough for all of us but when I occasionally mention this to other moms I usually get, “you think 2 is bad wait until he turns 3.” That’s exactly what I want to hear. (*insert sarcasm)
I’m struggling to make it through the day and desperately searching for encouragement or just acknowledgement that yes, sometimes motherhood sucks. But what I end up with is a bowl full of downers. (Ironically, the closer Jude gets to 3 the better things are actually getting for us. I’m hoping to prove them all wrong.)
Shouldn’t we, as mothers, be the first to understand and sympathize with other moms who are experiencing challenges and struggles? We all have bad days. There are always challenges that come along with parenting. And even if someone is complaining about what seems to be a trivial problem to you, it’s probably a big deal to them.
I’m guilty of playing the “my life is harder than yours” card and it’s never as rewarding as you might think. It’s always much more rewarding to just listen and acknowledge that yes, it’s tough work being a mom. That’s really what most of us want, someone to just recognize that the everyday life of mom is tough stuff.
Speaking of moms, Mother’s Day is just around the corner, perfect opportunity to thank our own moms for putting up with us when we were toddlers.
I hear you, I totally do. I think that's why as much as I want to vent about motherhood now and then I just keep my mouth shut. I don't like the responses I get! Hang in there mama!
Wait til 3 is the new, wait till you have 2 kids! Pretty much anything that starts with "just wait til" makes me stabby.
Amen, sister!
Yeah! Incidentally, 2 kids (to me) is hella easier than 1 kid + pregnant.
Right now we are in a tight spot- my also very 'spirited' (nice way of putting holy terror 🙂 2 year old and 6 month old twins really cause me days to get as down as I can possibly be. Funny thing is- I never play the 'my life is…' card. My friends are the first ones to minimize their situations when that's not what I want them to do. Just because you aren't in my boat doesn't mean it's not hard for you too.
Side note- if I hear 'Oh I bet you have your hands full' from one more person I WILL punch them in the face.
I'm guilty of thinking "I have it harder than you" but rarely actually say it. For example, I hear my sister or sil saying how hard and tiring it is to be a mom to 2 and I can't help but laugh and say to myself Really? Try taking care of 7 and being pregnant on top of it! I don't SAY it because then that implies that my pregnancy and 7 children are burdens, which they are not. Or I hear a new mom to be say Oh my gosh I didn't get my nap today, how will I live? And I think…..nap?? What IS a nap?? How do I get one?
I have to remind myself that I was there once expecting my first, I was once the mother of just one, then 2, then 3, then…..well you get the point.