I hate when my boys fight. It drives me insane to hear them bicker with each other and boss each other around and whine about each other. But sibling rivalry and bickering is very common, in fact I think it’s sort of healthy. My children fighting can actually be a really good thing, surprising right? I want my children to know that they have a safe place where they can work out their emotions and learn how best to communicate with others when they have conflict. I’m there to mediate and guide them toward restoration. And what’s even more surprising is how much I learn about myself and my failures to communicate effectively. I often catch myself saying passive aggressive or belittling things to my own children when their constant bickering has gotten on my last nerve. In those moments it’s glaring transparent that the same behaviors I see in my children they learned from me and boy does that hurt.
I’m working on becoming better at conflict resolution not only for my own self but for the sake of my children. I want them to be compassionate and forgiving people therefore as a family we are working toward becoming more compassionate and forgiving. It’s a hard thing for me to work on especially because I am frequently overwhelmed by my daily life and I let my emotions get the best of me. I snap at my children because I’m distracted or just plain exhausted and it’s not an excuse but those are the times that I see what’s really buried down deep in my heart. I pray and ask for forgiveness but I’m really working on choosing to invest more in myself and my children when it comes to working on our relationships.
However, as much of the yucky habits my kids pick up from me there are moments when I see so much good. Habits they are picking up from following mine and Joe’s example. I love to see them help each other out. They are very giving boys, always wanting to make sure each of their brothers gets the same things they do. They hug each other and say “I love you” to each other. They pray with each other at night and pray for each other when one isn’t present. They as for forgiveness when they know they’ve wronged another.
So maybe these brother fight fiercely with each other but they also love fiercely and I guess I’m OK with that.