Why we waited to annouce our 4th pregnancy.

waiting to annouce pregnancy

Everyone has their opinion as to when to announce their pregnancy. Some people tell everyone as soon as possible while others wait until their growing bump gives them away. I tend to fall into the early announcement camp. I like to have support from my friends and family with any of the possible symptoms, challenges or complications. But with this pregnancy, our 4th pregnancy, I was very hesitant to share our big news.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant (almost past the 1st trimester) and we just made the news public. In the past we’ve shared the news right away (around 6weeks) but this time we waited. There are three reason why we kept the news to ourselves for so long.

1. The Kids – The kids are very sensitive to life changes but aren’t really old enough to understand the complexity of the situation. I know there are circumstances that can’t always be predicted or avoided but I want to protect them from hurt or confusion if something were to happen early on in pregnancy. Also, they are horrible at keeping secrets so they were the last to know.

2. Other People’s Opinion – I don’t really care too much about what other people think but snide comments sting and are generally unwelcome. There’s something about having more than 2 children that open you up to comments from others about why you would choose to have a “large” family. I was actually really surprised that we didn’t get too many comments like, “Haven’t you figured out what causes it yet?”although I really shouldn’t be surprised because we have awesome friends and family. But part of me avoided telling people because I didn’t want the comments.

And in case you were wondering….
No. we aren’t trying for a girl.
Yes, we know what causes it.
No, It wasn’t planned by us but God has a plan that’s bigger than ours.
And we’ll work out the details as they come along.

3. I Wasn’t Ready – I think the main reason I waited to announce this pregnancy was I just wasn’t ready. It was very much a surprise (I actually had an appointment scheduled to get an IUD when we got pregnant) and it took me awhile for it to really sink it. I had to accept this new reality, freak out a little bit and figure out the details on my own before I was ready to talk about it to anyone else.

Now the cat is out of the bag I feel pretty excited about baby 4. But unlike my other pregnancies I have nothing planned out nor do I plan to do much preparation. I won’t be reading any birth books or taking any birth classes. I put off my 1st prenatal appointment until 11weeks because I know the drill and unless something seems unusual there isn’t too much I can do until this baby decides to come out (which will probably be around 41-42 weeks).

When did you announce your pregnancy(ies)?


Similar Posts


  1. Congratulations! Baby #4 was a surprise to me as well and I think because I was in so much shock & disbelief I told family immediately. I had great support and was on bed rest my third trimester but, overall everything turned out okay. There was a eight year age difference between child #3 & #4 so it was like starting all over again for me. Well, even though you have no preference you know how it is with boys, I hope it’s a girl! 🙂

  2. I so get all of this! After 2 miscarriages (which I wasn’t totally secretive about but didn’t discuss publicly in the moment), I was waiting to be sure and feel more confident in this pregnancy. Adjust my own mind to the fact that it was (hopefully) really happening this time. We waited to tell our son around 11wks to make sure things were in fact going well. If, heaven forbid, something happens later, we’ll have to deal with that with him, but he never knew about the 2 miscarriages and certainly didn’t need the confusion of an early pregnancy loss now. Once I started to show and others started to comment around him (me overhead mouthing to be quiet that he doesn’t know), we finally knew we had to tell him which meant we announced it soon after because, like you said, kids can’t keep that secret! I for one am excited for you! Boy or girl it doesn’t matter. Healthy. That’s all we wanted and I’m sure you two feel the same. I’m actually a bit scared of a girl this time as I feel like I “know” how to be a mom to a boy. It’s like a whole new world I need to learn! We’ll have to plan some playdates in the new year! 🙂

  3. Congratulations! With our first I wanted to wait until after the first doctor’s appointment, which was at 10 weeks, then the second time I thought I would go ahead and tell immediate family after I found out, because the first time I waited “just in case” and everything was fine. However, a couple days before I could tell my family with the second one, I had a miscarriage, so with the third one I stuck with not telling anyone until after the first appointment which was between 10 and 11 weeks.

  4. I found your blog looking for 4th baby announcements because I am in Limbo about adding to our family. Baby 3 (or Son) was a surprise because we planned on waiting at least 4-5 years after #2 to try one more time.
    Now, I have been hoping for an uh-oh surprise for the past month and now praying that my husband decides to come on board with #4.
    My last blog was about it actually. Have fun with #4!!!

  5. Thank you so much this article makes me feel so much better for feeling like I do about my 4th pregnancy! I love the part (and may actually use it when I announce on FB)nd in case you were wondering….
    No. we aren’t trying for a girl.
    Yes, we know what causes it.
    No, It wasn’t planned by us but God has a plan that’s bigger than ours.
    And we’ll work out the details as they come along.
    I’m 15 weeks and did tell mom and a few close friends recently. I actually had a 17 week miscarriage 2 years ago that my then 7 and 5 year old still remember. I also have all boys by the way 🙂 Ty again!

  6. So glad I came across this post. We are expecting baby #4 and we have decided to wait to tell others too. I am happy but this was a big surprise and I don’t want to hear what people have to say just yet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *