Pregnancy Confession: Anxiety

Confession: I’m anxious about this pregnancy.

About this time during my last two pregnancies I was reading books about labor and psyching myself up for the impending birth.

But this time I’m avoiding even thinking about childbirth.

I’ve heard it said that a traumatic birth experience messes your head when the next pregnancy rolls around. While I didn’t have a horrible experience with Noah’s birth it certainly has messed with my head.

I’m anxious that I’ll have another huge baby.
I’m anxious that he’ll have shoulder dystocia like the other boys.
I’m anxious about how the hospital and doctors will deal with shoulder dystocia.
I’m anxious that I’ve used up all of my good birthing vibes and won’t be able to handle the pain this time.
I’m just generally anxious.

I know all of this is in my head and I can get on top of it but honestly, I’ve been avoiding it.
I know that educating myself and asking questions will help ease my mind.
I know I can do this, I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

Maybe I don’t feel like I have the time to stop and reflect upon the past and what going to happen next?
But I really need to make the time because before I know it Baby 3 will be on his way.