I’m hanging up my nursing bras… forever.

It’s been about 48 hours since Abel last nursed. I think this might be the end of our breastfeeding journey. Like most milestones it’s bittersweet, I love the bonding time but I’m also happy to not be needed so frequently. At 17 months old he just decided he wasn’t interested.

We were only nursing before naps and bed and occasionally in the morning after he woke up. But yesterday he just decided he was done. He gets really angry if I try to nurse him and he bites me so I’m not really pushing it too hard. All of my boys stopped around 16 months or earlier so I shouldn’t be surprised. I think my body isn’t making much milk anymore and it’s just frustrating for him at this point.

I’m sad that it just ended out of the blue. I didn’t get to savor the last time although I’ve known it was coming for a couple months now.

I know not everyone has the ability to breastfeed or chooses not to breastfeed but I’m so glad I was able to breastfeed all of my boys. It wasn’t always easy and there were many times I wanted to quit but I had great support and I’m so thankful I was able to make it so far with all of my boys. There are so many special moments that only a mom and her baby share and breastfeeding is probably my favorite. I’ll miss the late night snuggles in the dark, listening to his slow and steady breathing. I’ll miss the moments we would sneak away from the chaos to find a quiet place to rest and eat. I’ll miss the sweaty ear print that’s left on my arm after a long nursing session. I’ll miss the sweet little hands pulling on my shirt, grabbing at my lips and playing with my hair. But most of all I’ll miss the “baby”. My baby is not a baby anymore.